Why preparing for your birth matters - don't just 'go with the flow'

When you’re pregnant, you’ll hear a lot of advice. Some helpful, some not so much and one thing I hear a lot is "go with the flow" because birth doesn't follow a plan.

And yes, birth can be unpredictable. Having a super strict birth plan with only one way you want things to go isn’t realistic. But here’s the thing: there are SO many ways you can get ready for your birth. It’s absolutely okay to have preferences about how you want things to happen. Nothing’s guaranteed, but you can give yourself the best chance by prepping with your birth partner or team.

On the surface, “go with the flow” sounds lovely. No stress, no overplanning, just letting things happen. But in reality, if you don’t do any prep, you might end up going with someone else’s flow (usually the system’s, not yours).

Birth is a once in a lifetime experience for each baby you have. The way you prepare (or don’t) can have a huge impact not only on your birth itself but on your recovery, your confidence, and your transition into parenthood. So as well as shopping for all of the cute baby things, why not invest in some birth preparation too? Whether that's antenatal classes, hypnobirthing or a doula - there are so many options out there. Find the one that feels right for you.

If you find the right antenatal support, you’ll learn all about your options for birth and how to navigate the maternity system. Learning about this stuff while you’re pregnant means you’re less likely to panic if things change during labour. Making informed decisions and advocating for yourself (or your partner) is something you can absolutely prepare for. At the end of the day, you want to feel like you made the best choices for you and your baby and being informed is a great step towards feeling positive about those decisions.

Here are 5 ways preparing for birth will benefit you:

1. Birth Plans Aren’t About Controlling Everything

No one can control every aspect of birth. Babies have their own timelines, and sometimes things change or medical emergencies happen. But preparation is not about rigid control.

It’s about:

• Knowing your options

• Understanding your rights

• Learning how your body works in labour

• Exploring tools and techniques to help you feel calm, safe, and in control of your choices

• Knowing how your birth partner can support you

  
  

Without this foundation, it's easy feel swept along by decisions made for you rather than with you.

2. Your Mindset Can Shape Your Birth Experience

Your thoughts and feelings really do affect your body in labour. Stress and fear can make everything feel more intense and slow things down.

Preparation methods such as hypnobirthing help you:

• Reduce fear

• Build confidence in your body’s ability

• Practise relaxation techniques

• Condition positive associations with birth

  
  

It's nothing crazy, it’s just science. Hormones like oxytocin and endorphins thrive when you feel safe, calm, and supported.

3. You’ll Be Ready for the Unexpected

Preparing for birth doesn’t mean you’re only preparing for the 'perfect' birth. It means thinking ahead about what matters most to you if plans need to change.

You’ll be able to:

• Make informed decisions under pressure

• Ask the right questions

• Protect the parts of your birth experience that matter most

• Avoid feeling like things “just happened to you”

  
  

4. It Improves Your Partner’s Confidence Too

If you have a birth partner, their role is more than just being there. They can be your advocate, your comfort, and your anchor. But they can only do that if they know what they can be doing to support you.

Preparation helps them:

• Understand the stages of labour

• Learn how to support you physically and emotionally

• Know what to say and do to help you feel safe and focused

• Feel confident advocating for you

5. A Positive Birth Can Shape Your Postnatal Recovery

A birth where you feel informed, respected, and supported, whatever route it takes, can leave you feeling empowered and proud. This can make the early days of parenthood feel calmer and more connected.

On the other hand, a birth where you felt powerless or unheard can lead to a more challenging recovery emotionally and physically.

The Bottom Line

Preparing for your birth is like prepping for any big life event. You wouldn’t “just go with the flow” for your wedding, a marathon, or a big presentation at work. You’d research, practise, and think about what’s important to you.

Birth is one of the biggest events of your life. You deserve to go into it feeling informed, confident, and supported, not just crossing your fingers and hoping for the best.

You deserve to feel heard and to have a positive experience, whatever that looks like for you and your baby.

Emma x